Woo Hoo... DAY 5!!!!

This morning my tummy is really gurgling... not hunger, just gurgle. Also couldn't sleep again, and was up several times peeing.... Mind you, between the glasses of lemonade, the tea and the (I counted yesterday) 20 glasses of water I have been drinking!

Oh and I am losing weight (contrary to my whining in an earlier post!). Put on my test pants today (the ones I wear to determine if I'm losing weight... and looser, not hugely loose, but loose, these pants were snug a week and a half ago and I have lost on my calves because I put on a pair of knee high boots that I normally struggle to zip up... the zipper went up with ease!

Am also sticking to 6 glasses today. I also seem to have bought the worlds most sour lemons. Yesterday and today's batches are VERY tart. But I don't want to add extra maple syrup.

The Why

Ok someone asked me to explain a bit about the fast and why I'm doing it.

The fast is from a book by Stanley Burroughs titled The Master Cleanser. It's not a fad thing, this guy has done his research and Buddist Monks have been fasting for centuries. Many religions fast as well as part of a holiday or leading up to one. It is a 10 day cleanse that you should do 3 to 4 times a year. The next time I will be doing it is in January.

There are many benefits from the fast:
A healthier you.
Detox
Weight Loss
Healing (there are testimonials in the book and all over the web of people who did the cleanse and got rid of illness)
Breaking habits (such as drinking/smoking/caffiene)

I'm doing it to detox (have become vegan and want to purge my body of the bad crap, so I continue on with a clear system) and for the weight loss aspect. I am over weight and have always struggled with my weight and this will help kick start my metabolism so I can continue to loose weight.

I hope I covered it all.

1:00 pm - just got back from lunch and power walked everywhere, not on purpose either, it's windy and cold out! I figured I would be tired afterward... I'm not! Need to go to Carrot tonight to buy more maple syrup and peppermint tea. I have quite a bit left but would rather have extra, just in case, plus, it's yummy and I will use it afterward!

Also, not hungry. Thirsty, but not hungry at all.

forgot to mention, I have been measuring myself. Have lost an inch on my waist and tummy and about half an inch on my hips

also check out these blogs... they are janis and viki. they are also doing the fast.

3:15 pm - hmmm.. tis after 3 and am only getting hungry now. The book said eventually the hunger will subside, so for me it seems to be happening on Day 5.

7:55 pm - ok... I seem to only be getting hungry now. So am drinking glass 5.5. I have tonnes of work to do this weekend so lots to distract me, tomorrow is day 6. I need to go make some peppermint tea. My tummy had this odd heavy feeling, there is nothing there, yet it is heavy! I also need to drink the laxative tea later and I only had a very small bowel movement this morning and nothing all day. In these last 5 days I have talked more about poo than in my entire life!!!!!!!!

I am also craving miso soup. Way to go Viki! And prior to that stood in The Big Carrot salivating, but put the blinders on and got what I needed. Oh and they must have just baked something... I thought I was going to lose it!!!!!!!

Tomorrow is day 6... we are coasting now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DAY 4 Maple syrup makes you fat

Ok then, so I keep looking to see if I've lost weight, actually measured myself last night and will do so every evening. Am disappointed that I don't seem to have lost or at least I don't think I have. Then Viki told me about the maple syrup we are using. It is mega high in calories, so I either have to cut back on how many glasses I drink. or, cut back on the syrup.

Day 1 = 6 glasses
Day 2 = 10 glasses
Day 3 = 11 glasses

One of the reasons, aside from the detox, that I am doing this is to lose some of my extra weight to help me kick start my metabolism. If I do the full 10 days and don't lose the weight I will be VERY upset!

12:32 pm - ok so far I have only had 3 glasses, two when I woke up and one when I got to work and I wasn't getting hungry. Am a bit now but want to try and hold off till around 1:30 to have the next. Janis suggested I drink one every three hours and that should result in weight loss. I think I got a bit carried away yesterday. Being at work I am surrounded by people who eat ALL DAY LONG and it was getting to me. I wasn't hungry at all, just trying to stop hunger. So...

2:15 pm - still not hungry. haven't had glass 4 yet. will hold off till I actually feel hungry. am sipping on tea instead. Overall am feeling ok. I did notice that around 6 pm yesterday I crashed a bit. I did a bunch of running around afterwork and probably shouldn't have kept my normal breakneck pace! Another think I am learning is I need to slow down!

4:00 pm - odd but true, I am craving foods right now that I use to eat before, I became vegetarian.... what's that all about??? I also had to cancel lunch with someone today because I couldn't handle the thought of watching someone eat!!!

There are benefits to this fast as well. It saves a tonne of time when I go home. I don't have to prepare dinner :)

4:50 pm - not hungry at all!!!! and I just saw SNOW!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOO

7:40 pm - am only drinking glass #5 now. Not hungry at all today! Am tired, but that is due to not sleeping well. And I swear I forgot the maples syrup in this batch as it gets more and more sour with each glass! Also on my way home I had to dash to the bathroom before I got to the subway. My stomach was suddenly upset and I needed to 'clear it out'. Who knew that after 4 days there could still be stuff in there! I know EW!

I probably should have done this before going Vegan, but am glad I am doing it now and will do it 3 or 4 times a year. It's not that hard at all, you just have to get through the first two days and voila. Of course after this, only decaf coffee and herbal tea. I'm not going through withdrawal again!!!

Am going to finish this glass, make tea and chill. Normally I would be working my ass off till all hours but have been trying to chill and go to bed early. I think that is also helping.

Day three... the hump day???

well... here we are at day 3. According to the book once we get past day 3 it should be much easier... get over the hump and I coast.

I didn't sleep very well last night, tossed and turned and woke up grumpier than usual, but, no hunger pangs, and I don't feel week at all. I made sure to drink two glasses first thing when I woke up to ensure I wouldn't feel hungry on the subway ride to work and thank the gods I did! I had the worlds longest subway ride this morning! What normally takes 15 minutes to 50!!! GRRRRRRRRR.

At least I have 50 thousand emails to get caught up on to keep me distracted...

I did notice this morning a few pockets of fat are starting to disappear!!! I don't own scales so I have no clue how much weight I have lost and am kicking myself for not measuring myself. I will do that tonight!

12:10 pm - not hungry, am trying to keep up on it with the lemonade before the hunger strikes. However I have noticed that I feel like I'm getting a cold, which is surprising considering how much vitamin C is going into my body. Of course I have sinus problems so it could be that the crap in my sinuses is coming out. And a fun fact, I noticed my nose was bright red last night, still is today!

7:03 pm - so I couldn't update as my work computers email died! The technician spent part of the afternoon trying to fix it and when I left he was still working away on it. So far I have drank 7 glasses. Had pretty good energy most of the day but around 5:30 pm started to crash a bit. Am also getting a bit hungry... probably just habit, but over all feeling pretty good!

The other think I noticed today, Food! Everywhere I went, the free paper in the morning had food on the cover, a lady in front of me on the subway was reading the Toronto Star food section, hot dog vendors, pizza in the subway, a woman sitting in front of me on the subway ride home was shoving a chocolate bar down her throat, as well was a 300 lb man (no I am not exaggerating) gorging on a huge slice of pizza. I say food on the ground, and it seems that every bloody commercial on TV is about FOOD!!!!!

So tonight am going to write, make my lemonade and have tea. Thank goodness I took enough for 12 glasses, the container that held six wouldn't have been enough!

Day Two - Senna Tea does really work

Well, here we are at day two! Am feeling a bit weak, but over all good energy, if that makes sense. Am drinking the lemonade right away rather than waiting till I am hungry like yesterday and may drink two glasses in a row to start. I drank 6.5 yesterday and we are allowed up to 12.

The Senna Tea worked today... oh boy did it work.... if there is anything left in my bowls I would be surprised! Headache is almost gone. I am pretty damn sure it is caffeine withdrawal.

Will be doing all I can to distract myself today by writing... and what ever else needs to get done. Only problem is I am craving waffles...

11:00 am - am on my third glass, not feeling weak any more and am starting to be a lot less hungry, headache is almost gone as well... now if I could get my brain to stop thinking about food. I think the trick here as well is to keep the belly full, I continually drink water. and the warmth of tea helps. As soon as I am done this glass I will be having a peppermint tea. And note to self... do not drink the lemonade right after brushing your teeth... gross!

12:12 pm - well the hunger pains are fading and are being replaced with a hollow feeling in my tummy... am sipping warm tea and that makes it feel all better! Checked a site I regularly go to and send it to Viki completely forgetting it was about food... woops! I just wish the people in my house would stop eating and cooking... I am planning their demise as I write this...

this is also my PMS week and oddly am doing ok... but of course can't tell if my food cravings are due to the fast or because I'm PMSing... hmmmm....

1:30 pm - am being completely distracted by how cold it is in my house.... were is the bloody furnace guy!!!! Getting a bit of a headache again...

2:44 pm - hmmm head ache isn't getting worse... am about to have class #5.... drinking as much water as possible to keep my tummy filled... Furnace guy, still not here

3:57 pm - still no furnace guy and the hunger pangs are back!

4:46 pm - still no furnace guy, apparently the part was delivered but it sure wasn't left on my front porch!!! Drank the final glass of the batch I made and had to make 4 more to make sure I make it till bedtime. I will have to make 12 glasses for tomorrow and buy more lemons. If I don't I will be famished by 3 pm.

5:12 pm - oh look furnace guy showed up... what ever shall I distract myself with... have noticed that the drink does kill the hunger for a bit... am continuing to drink as much water as I can and soon will need to have another cup of tea. Probably won't do the laxative tea tonight, only because I can't chance being on the toilet and late for work

5:57 pm - fucking hell.. they are cooking again!!!!! so I have a dilemma on Oct 18th (the final day of the fast), there is a farewell bash for one of the guys at work. I was worried about what the hell i am going to do. viki had a brilliant idea. tell them you can't eat because you have to go for a cholesterol test after work. have i mentioned she is brilliant!

Day one - the official start

Ok, so tea did nothing, I probably bought the wrong one... figures.

Made a full jug of the concoction... hopefully will last me all day... am hungry right now but will see what happens when I finish a glass...

10 more days to being healthy and thinner! You can also check out Viki's updates here.

12:20 - so in less than an hour I have to drink a second glass, I am really hungry!!!

Some of my concerns, being able to do this while at work. It's an office job, it's not like I will be doing any manual labour, but... I need to just make sure I have enough of the lemonade with me, lots of peppermint tea and water! My other concerns is I am Hypoglycemic and get wicked migraines when I don't eat, so let's see if I can make it past that.

1:43 - am on glass #3 and am still hungry... not to mention the smell of food cooking is MAKING ME CRAZY!!!!!!!!!! Everyone in my house needs to eat out over the next 10 days! I am also imagining everyone will be asking me out to lunch/dinner the next 10 days as well... just watch!

5:36 - oh my good gawd, I'm hungry... but I am not caving... I just have to tough it out... but all I can think about if food!!!!!! How did Ghandi do it! I had a peppermint tea earlier and it helped... but I don't want to over do it.. will have another one later.. the other thing I noticed is the cayene pepper is getting hotter... and that some of the skin on the inside of my mouth is coming off.. but that is normal when you drink alot of citrus anyway.. and I have a fucking caffiene withdrawal headache!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can do! I can Do it! I CAN DO IT!!!!!!

So I have decided that we are going to do two things once I make it to the end of this fast. 1. We are all going out to dinner to treat ourselves. 2. I am going to buy the $60 Waffle maker and make us all kick ass Vegan Waffles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now to find something else to distract myself with...

6:35 - head is killing me, you can't tell me coffee isn't an addiction... am pretty sure it's a caffiene headache

11:00 - going to bed, am a bit more tired than normal :)

the fast day 1 the night before

So my little peeps, Viki, Janis, Anna and myself are about to start a 10 day fast. The only substance we will have is a lemonade concaution, water, peppermint tea if we need it, a saline wash and ewwwww laxative tea with Senna leaf... am a little worried about the laxative tea. I have to take it tonight.. am still debating that one, i think I might hold off unless I started getting bunged up...

So tonight it begins.. can I make it through the entire 10 days... not to mention, I have a lot of lemons to squeeze!!!

I'm going to scream

If I see one more 16 year old with a baby and a trailer trash boyfriend ~ I'M GOING TO SCREAM!
If I see one more 14 year old girl child with their thong showing ~ I'M GOING TO SCREAM!
There is now a Starbucks in Chinatown ~ I'M GOING TO SCREAM!
If I go to Chinatown one more time and a man horks in from of me ~ I'M GOING TO SCREAM!
If I have to tell one more man to give up his seat on the subway/streetcar or bus to a disabled, elderly or pregnant person ~ I'M GOING TO SCREAM!
If one more person bumps me, rather than take the time to walk around me ~ I'M GOING TO SCREAM!
If I get one more piece of junk mail ~ I'M GOING TO SCREAM!
If one more person singles me out of a crowd and asks me directions ~ I'M GOING TO SCREAM!
If I get one more person calling my house for the Ontario Science Centre ~ I'M GOING TO SCREAM!
If I get one more call at 3 am that is a fax ~ I'M GOING TO SCREAM!
Clearly ~ I'M GOING TO SCREAM!

sarah kramer

Even if you aren't Vegan you should check out Sarah. She is amazing and needs her own cooking show.

In the meantime, go to her website:

www.govegan.net

or to a bookstore and buy her three books! They are amazing as well!

and she's Canadian!

why is there a baby in our picture

Yes there is a mystery baby in our photo. Is she trying to steal our thunder! Go away baby!!!











Here is me and Patsy Cline... ok not the real Patsy, that would be quite a feat and I'm sure she wouldn't be pleased if I summonded her from the dead. Rather this is my good friend Victoria Pearce, she is a Patsy Cline tribute artist and phenomenal!!!

Waffles

Recently I purchase Vegan with a Vengeance. It has some yummy waffle recipes. I decided I needed to make those waffles.. I bought a $15 waffle iron. It was a piece of CRAP. More to follow with this weeks article!

c

The Battle of Wills

I am having a 'Battle of Wills' with my internet service provider. Since I started using them I have had issues. They are one of the big two so you would think they would know what they are doing... but they don't. Here are some of the standard problems...

I am a mac girl.
They don't have any mac experts so cannot support those of us using macs.

I am back and forth on whether or not to switch to the competitor but all my other mac girlfriends say they aren't any better.

Today I had yet another run in with them.

As I do every morning I check my email before anything else... yes I am an email whore. This morning there wasn't any email in my inbox, nada, nothing, zilch, zip, ZERO. Which is odd, I always have at least spam.

So I did some tests, I could send, not receive and email was showing up in my gmail (which then downloads to my laptop). So I called them. Here was the conversation:

Idiots "Good Morning, Losers are Us technical help, how can I help you this morning?"
Me "Morning, by chance are the incoming mail servers down?"
Idiots "Not this morning, no, everything is fine. Is there a problem?"
Me "Ya, I can send and not recieve.
Idiots "How do you know this?"
Me Pause... biting tongue, "I tested it."
Idiots "Ok, can I have your user information.. blah blah blah"
Idiots "Ok, well, I have checked and everything looks ok, are you sure your Outlook Express Settings are ok?"
Me "Pause, deep breath... I'm on a Mac and use MacMail."
Idiots "Oh. Um, hold on."

Put on hold.

Idiots "Sorry for making you wait. Ok, have pulled up my virtual mac."
Me "Do you have version X up and Mac Mail 2.1?"
Idiots "No, we don't have that MacMail version so I will have to wing it."
Me Long Pause, deep breath.

We go through the settings, all is correct... Of course it is.. I do know what the fuck I am doing...

Conversation continues...

Idiots "Well, I can't see what the problem is, and we don't really support mac's. What I can suggest is we delete your profile on your computer and start from scratch"
Me DeJa Fucking Vu! "My profile, uh, won't that delete everything?"

Idiots "Yes, but unfortunately that is the only way we can fix it."
Me "No, it's not. I've been through this with you guys dozens of times. The last time you did this on my old computer you screwed it up."

Idiots "Excuse me."
Me "Yes, exactly what I said."

Idiots "Well, madame, we don't really support mac's and this is an apple problem."
Me "No it's not, it's a Losers are Us problem. It has been the last 5 times I have called. You need to learn how to support mac's"

Click... yes, i hung up on him.

It took me another 30 minutes but after going through THEIR settings one by one I found the problem, changed the settings and now I get email again. IDIOTS!

Let's change it up...

I've been a vegetarian for over 10 years and recently changed to Vegan. There are many reason why I changed but I won't bore you with those details, rather let me share some of the really neat things I am finding.

I have been on a information quest since I switched up. I am a research junkie so this is beyond fun for me. One of my concerns with switching is I LOVE to bake and I was concerned that I wouldn't be able to make my yummy treats. So in my quest to find animal free recipes I came across a couple amazing sites.

The Post Punk Kitchen - This is not only a Vegan cooking show, but one of the coolest websites I have found in ages! These girls rock. The site is full of recipes and helpful hints, videos, merchandise (I want a tee) and is just plain fun!

I want this woman to start making my lunches... I'm serious. This kid not only has the coolest lunch box, but the worlds best lunches. I bet his class mates gather around each lunch to see what is inside the blue box!

So yesterday. (Sunday).. I wasn't inspired to write, instead spent a good chunk of time searching vegan stuff... and cooking...

and

now that i am making all my food from scratch...

made a soup in my slow cooker

baked...

~vegan banana bread
~vegan chocolate nut muffins

Everything was yummy.. what is that old saying, if it tastes good, it can't be good for you... that's a load of crap!

Today at lunch am going to see if I can get my hands on Vegan with a Vengence as well as a couple other Vegan cookbooks!!! Am also on the look out for the cookbook by Toronto's own Wanda's Pie In the Sky...

Revelations

Sometimes I need a swift kick in the ass. This week I got a few... here is a bit of a list, a more detailed one will be in an upcoming issue of Shebytches.com.

~Clarity has been given to me about someone's reactions towards me. Thank you V for clearing that up
~A palm reader gave me the kick in the ass I needed. It's funny how strangers do that for me.
~I am no longer hiding who I am to those I work with. I am a writer and I run an amazing website, who cares if they know. What the hell was my problem all this time! I have no problems telling strangers.. so why not a bunch of accountants...
~I finally met Liana K and she is as cool as I thought she would be and Sean Ward is much taller than I remember and yes he DOES rock the Casba!. Fyi he will be the next interview for our podcast!
~Shaun Downey is quite possibly the one of this cities most talented painters!
~I own an uber cool phone but the MP3 function is useless to me unless I buy a card for it. Ok, I can download songs from the web but have to pay for them. I want to download the stuff on my Mac
~Beware of girls with monkeys!!! October, you know who you are!
~Being a vegetarian or a vegan does not make you a freak, it just means I am going to live longer than your neurotic carnivores!
~I'm no longer invisible.... it was fun while it lasted.
~I am a Dark Knight and I belong to a Secret Society. How cool am I???

bleech and stuff...

Well, that was by far the WORST long weekend ever.. the weather was beyond disgusting!!! I like gloomy, but only if there is a thunderstorm attached to it... all this weather do was make me even more depressed!

At least I was able to get the new issue up in record time... it's up and sara l. beck is our guest bytch! yes you need to check it out!!!

c

the pink baby was laid to rest

I had to cave an buy a new phone today... my other.. is toast.. well the battery is... I have to charge it daily and if I talk longer than 20 minutes, the battery is finito... so... I had to go to my service provider and pick out a new one. I decided it was also time to stop buying little girl phones, so no more pink ones... This one is sleek, black and silver and has all the bells and whistles... camera, video and MP3 player. Of course the bastards get you every chance they can and I can't use the MP3 player unless I buy a special card... which I am not going to do.. what's the point.. one day, I will some day own an iPod... I will, really, it's not just in my dreams... ok back to reality. Check out this sexy mama. Of course in light of the fact that I have a cool new phone I decided to change my voicemail and make it less boring and serious...

After going to get to the phone, I confirmed I still hate the mall... thank the gods I didn't go on a Saturday!!!!!

it's Monday August 28th... so there must be a new issue at Shebytches.com

and there is... yes.. go to shebytches.com for all the goodness....

c

Ami McKay is this weeks Guest Bytch!

That's right people! The new issue is up, go check it out! Our guest bytch this week is hot Canadian author Ami McKay (The Birth House)

go now!

www.shebytches.com!

First Official Podcast!!!

Hey all, our first podcast is now ready for your ears. You can listen to it here http://shebytchespodcasts.blogspot.com/ or on the right hand side is a couple of links. You can download it to iTunes and you can also subscribe to our mailing list so you can be updated when new ones come out!

The first podcast is part of the Shebytches Indie Reviews and an interview with Girls MissGuided. The interview was done live at a restaurant so there will be background noise, we apologize up front for that!

Enjoy!!!

Liana K is our guest bytch!

NEW THIS WEEK

Guest Bytch Superman by Liana K Superman is one of my favorite comic book characters. That seems passé to many people, and this is the topic of my guest bytch.


"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye." Miss Piggy.

Anna's Bytch Neighbors from Hell Once again I come to you slightly confused, oddly entertained and certainly irritated. I have often asked myself what it is that I am projecting that attracts every single crackpot within a fifty mile radius, but so far I have been unsuccessful in pinning it down.

Carolina's Bytch The Invisible Woman The running joke between V and I is that we are invisible. I use to think it was just that, a joke, but these last two weeks have me thinking otherwise. Let’s do a little review shall we:

Pixie Says Underneath the Glitter, I’m Still a Jew Before I was a pixie, before I was a feminist, almost before I was me, I had two identities: female and Jewish. I was born into them and, not having acquired the power of speech, I couldn’t argue my way out of them. For a while.

Viki Ackland Going Backwards I have always been in a state of disbelief over the affairs of the world. Where most people can go through life in their own square world where happiness is defined merely by their content existence, I have found myself feeling troubled and filled with despair for as long as I can recall. So I carry on, write poetry, stay well informed, live in fear.

EVENTS

check www.myspace.com/shebytches for up todate listings.

Shebytches Upcoming Dates

Sept 24 The Word on the Street, Queen's Park

To Blog or Not to Blog

hey All, one of the articles I am writing for the website is, Blog or not to Blog. Basically what it will be is a compilation of well... basically, why do we blog. What I would like to add is peoples reason's why. So, if you are blogger, message me with the reason you blog!

thx Carolina

ps/ this may even be a podcast...

check out the puddle...

the puddle

there is a puddle on the floor
that puddle use to me
what started as a wet forehead, upper lip, back, and neck
soon dripped away

drip
drip
drip
splat

it started out small
meager
unnoticed
then the spot started to grow

as time went on
that spot grew
larger, wetter
the drip turned to a steady stream

no working air conditioner I cursed
blasted the box that wouldn't produce
cold, refreshing
air

like a broken tap
the running sweat continued
to form a large puddle
at my feet

drip
drip
drip
till there is no more

there is a puddle on the floor
that puddle use to me
my panting dogs, thirsty
have lapped me up

``
I just couldn't help myself. All day I dreaded leaving my semi-air conditioned office building. All day I dreaded coming home to a 90 year old house that is also a working oven. Since Friday I have had a mild migraine, for three days I haven't been able to sleep. Since this heat wave started I have been cursing the fact that the house I bought, the house with the added bonus of central air is so stifling hot. I cursed that the metal box couldn't be turned on due to the fear that it would burn out it's motor and ruin my furnace.

I'm stubborn, ask anyone who knows me, cranky and sweaty and nauseous I decided to give the AC a try. I turned it on and it made the same wretched noise it did the one and only time I turned it on last year. It vibrated, screeched and shut itself off.... I cursed... turned it off and went about my business... the business of sweating that is. Then I said 'Fuck it! Let me play with the breakers and try it again. Guess what... it worked and now it is purring like a kitten!!! and the house is slowly cooling down. I have all the fans on in the bedrooms in hopes of cooling them down enough that I can turn the AC off when we go to bed.

Tomorrow is another day!

c

The Legend of Zanta

I am currently sitting in my basement attempting to write. It's suppose to be cool down here, but it isn't... cooler yes, but incredibly muggy, even with the lights all off. It's been like this for most of the week. Everything is sticking to me, I am on the fence of a migraine... about to fall off that fence. I could use a drink right now, but save getting dehydrated, I have decided to stick to my tepid water. The last time I had any type of alcoholic beverage was this past Wednesday evening. An evening spent with both brand new and comfortable old friends.

After an hour waiting for a table on the rooftop patio of Hemingways, M decided enough was enough and made her way to the front patio scoring us a table. We were a bit disappointed that we wouldn't be sitting on the rooftop, but fun conversation, wine and a character named Zanta Claus soon turned out disappointment to sheer entertainment! Do you know who Zanta is?

The first time I saw Zanta Claus was the 2005 St. Patrick Day parade at Yonge/Bloor. Zanta was following the procession. He was shirtless and only wearing a pair of shorts, boots and a Santa hat. At first I thought he was part of the parade, but quickly realized he may be otherwise when he would continually stop, do push ups and pose, not to mention the windchill was minus twenty something. Listening to other people's conversations I quickly learned that he was a regular spectacle at all these events.

Suddenly I was seeing Zanta everywhere I went. City Hall, Queen Street, Danforth, Annex and even the subway. He always had the same attire of shorts, boots and the Santa hat. One of my girls even pointed out that he appeared to have no chest hair, was clean shaven and was quite buff. Why would he be otherwise seeing as he most likely does hundreds of push-ups a day. Wednesday night we had front row seats to push up's on a taxi cab, photo's with tourist and multiple acts of fitness. Zanta also took the time to flirt with any cute 20 year old girl that would give him the time of day.

There are many stories revolving around the legend of Zanta. Some say he was a construction working falling from a few floors up, causing brain damage, hence is outrageous personality. I wonder if we could use the same reasoning for Liberace, Rosanne Barr or Jerry Springer. Others say he may be bi-polar and not taking his medication, while another story suggests he started the whole Zanta character up to entertain his daughter during a custody trial. Only Zanta knows the real story.

After an hour of entertainment, I realized that this guy is famous. I must be doing something wrong, not to mention he has his own myspace and website!

If you are intrigued and would like to find out more, check out some of these links:

torontozanta.ca
http://molarradio.ca/?p=43
http://ohpunk.blogspot.com/2006/07/zanta-claus-is-coming-to-town.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zanta

Canadian Podcasters

Now that we are adding podcasting to our website I have become very curious as to what else is out there. I am facinated by the things you can do with a podcast. You can create a radio show, a spoken word event, read poetry, teach a class, tell people how to knit or just do something wacky. There are podcasts for absolutely everything. You want to hear about it, there is a podcast for it, every topic known to man has been covered and of course where there are podcasts, there are directories listing them.

I was curious to see how many Canadian podcasts might be out there and trust me I wasn’t disappointed. One of the best directories is a directory created by the Rogic Podcast Conglomerate. Of the sites listed in there directory Librivox really jumped out at me. This website has many free audio books. There is a nice selection of classics and poetry. I was excited to see The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde, by Robert Louis Stevenson. The deeper you dig into this website you will find listings for audiolit projects, literary podcasts and literary blogs. This is a great way to spend a rainy day!

Another outstanding site listed is called Book Ninja. This website is a wealth of information on literary news and opinion. It even has a section with a regular comic. Bravo to the creators and editors for showing the literary side of Canada.

Then there is my favourite on the list. Although not a Canadian site, how can you go wrong with a name like Book Slut. This site consists of interviews and reviews.

Ok, now back to Canadian podcasts. The Closet Geek Show. Don’t let the name fool you. This is an amazing music podcast hosted by Brent Morris. This is just one of thousands of music podcasts out there. There are also just as many weird, quirky and in your face ones such as The Psychotic Hour, The Screaming Halibut and let’s not forget Rabble.ca.

We can’t forget our news and television podcasts. CBC has one and of course almost every newspaper does as well.

Now before you go nuts and start downloading podcasts like crazy. I do have a word of warning. They aren’t all as amazing as the ones I have mentioned. I came a cross a few that were beyond awful. So bad that after a few minutes of listening I unsubscribed and for me to do that, they had to be pretty bad.

Happy Podcasting!

Shebytches Podcasts

Hi All, Shebytches.com is now podcasting!

check it out!

shebytches podcasts

rubber duckies

Recently, someone asked me what I collected. I said 'books'. Of course this wasn't what they meant... what they meant was, as a hobby. Collecting books apparently didn't fall into that category for them. I started to ponder the question, as a child it was tea cups or so I thought, I then I realized it was actually my Grandmother who was collecting them and then passing them off to me. Eventually I started collecting odd and unusual dolls. I still do, but apparently many girls collect them... so I decided I needed to collect something else. I have decided on odd and unusual rubber duckies... the odder the better. I have already started with a devil duckie and am looking for the next unusual one. Who knows this may even spark a zine or picture book of carolina's odd rubber duckies!

Canadian Women Authors to keep an eye on or continue to LOVE!

Ami Mckay - I haven't read her book yet (The Birth House), it hasn't been released but am eagerly anticipating it. I did how ever find her website and this woman is one of the most interesting women I have seen in quite some time. Check out her website http://www.amimckay.com/ or http://www.amimckay.blogspot.com/ and buy her book when it comes out in September.

Krista Bridge - A Toronto girl with a knack for short stories! Recently we were able to here her read from her first book 'The Virgin Spy' This is a great cottage read or for those who prefer short stories for novels. The stories are just long enough to give you time to sit back and relax! http://www.mcdermidagency.com/bridge.htm

Ann Marie Macdonald - I can't remember the last time it was so hard for me to put a book down. Fall on your Knees was just that book... Foolishly I lent it to a friend who then lent it out... so I no longer have my copy... I keep promising myself to buy another. Ann Marie also has two other books. The Way the Crow Flies and Goodnight Desdemona (Good Morning Juliet) (Play). We eagerly await your next novle Ann Marie. Here is a link to her bio http://www.randomhouse.ca/catalog/author.pperl?authorid=54001

Marian Keyes - 'Gracious, humble and and real.' This is how two fellow writers described Marian Keyes when they attended a book signing. A role model to everyone! Go buy Anybody Out There? right now! Here is the official website http://www.mariankeyes.com/

Margaret Atwood - My ultimate hero. Ms. Atwood has put Canadian Women authors on the map! We all should show our appreciation to her in one way or another!!! http://www.owtoad.com/

are you ready for the heatwave

I'll admit it... I am uncomfortable right now... I'm hot, sweaty and trying to not get cranky... I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't complain about the heat... and I'm not... we only go through this for a few weeks each year.. unlike the several months of snow we have to endure... so... no complaining...

The one thing I do notice about the heat is it brings out the crazies! They are everywhere.. at the grocery store yesterday... on the street today... on my street as a matter of fact... I even get a bit crazy when I am overheated... irritable.. and little things like someone putting down once of my favourite neighbourhoods has set me off and once again, another person I know said they wouldn't go into Parkdale on their own... I asked them why not... they said they would be too scared too... and then they proceeded to ask me... if I would... I said yes, being afraid of Parkdale is ridiculous, it is one of my favourite parts of the city... it is diverse, has it's funky little stores and quirky restuarants and is right beside my absolute fav neighbourhood ever... Roncesvalles.... what baffles me here is both the people who made these comments to me live in sketchy neighbourhoods themselves... yes Parkdale had a few rough years way back... but I don't get what the problem is... Parkdale is known as a hub for some of the most facsciating writers, photobloggers and artists that this city has!!! It is also a part of the city that inspires me in many ways...

Like I said... the heat brings out the crazies.

here are some links to more information about Parkdale and Roncesvalles!

http://www.g1313.org/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parkdale—High_Park
http://www.flickr.com/photos/explosivelaughter/page9/
http://deepsky.com/~madmagic/Writing/intro.html
http://www.livewithculture.ca/content/view/full/9999/
http://www.jerryapp.com/arcv_t3.html

Indie Reviews @ Shebytches.com is ready to go!

hey world! we are finally ready to start accepting materials for our Indie Reviews. you can see what you need to do here... http://www.shebytches.com/indiereviews.html. if you require more information please contact me :)

carolina

fav new blog!

If you live in toronto you need to check this out!!!

http://www.unknowntoronto.blogspot.com/

uh oh

that's right... it's been insane... so insane I haven't even blogged... work was crazy since I was leaving for vacation... two weeks...

I don't remember the last time I had two weeks off...

yesterday I checked out the yonge street festival.... boring... and the outdoor art exhibit. I recommend the outdoor art exhibit... tonnes of uber cool stuff and while you are there check out my girls Shannon Gerard and Lisa Cruji.

cs

Indie Reviews

Shebytches.com is accepting Music CD’s, Bands/Artists/Spoken Word Performances/launches, Movie, Books, Comic Books, Graphic Novels, Zine and Ezines for review. We understand how difficult it is to get started as Indie artists so we will only be doing informational reviews and not critical review. We’ve all been in your shoes and know it is much more important for the world to know about you.

You can email us @ indiereviews@shebytches.com

check this out!!!

http://www.viruszine.com/_indiepress/2006/june/carolinasmart/

wow...

I guess I really am the neighbourhood pariah... I just heard from B that the neighbour across the street invited her over for wine last night. She was out on her front porch and they came over to her and asked her to join them on their front porch. They have seen me on my front porch hundreds of times and never once asked me. When she told me it kind of bothered me... one day I went to talk to this lady and she literally backed away from me. I though she was anti social. They also seemed shocked that B and I are really good friends... like it was a bad thing. Appears the neighbour lady across the street isn't the issue and it is in fact me that appears to be the problem.

Wow... I really must have a mark on my forehead and the only one who can't see my horns... what a kick in the ego that was.

Please make me laugh...

Movies don't make me laugh any more... aren't comedies suppose to? Last night we decided to rent a movie, foolishly we rented The Wedding Crashers... Thank goodness Rachel McAddams was in it or I would have hurt someone She was the only one who saved it. Ok, Jane Seymour was brilliant as the skanky Mother of the Bride but... that was about it... The only two times I laughed the movie were when Vince Vaughn got hurt. That boy needs some sense knocked into him anyway.

Yes here I go on my Vince Vaughn rant again... why is he wasting his talent on stupid guy humour comedies... yes, it's big bucks, but he is a dramatic actor and a great one at that!!! Why is he wasting his talent!

Very, very soon I am going to boycott all of Hollywood made movies and stick to British made films and foriegn films... at least I have the subtitles to distract me if the move gets out of control.. or boring...

The only bright light these days is Jack Black and the guy who wrote Napolean Dynamite. Two men. Two men are all that are left in Hollywood with a creative bone... Two....

Can anyone recommend a good foreign film to me???

my favourite new blog

check this blog out! it's my new favourite!!1

http://sexlesscity.blogspot.com/

Just for fun! Do it!

Just for fun! Do it!

Between us and only us... whoever reads this I wanna know 21 things about you. Fill in all the blanks ... leave no question unanswered! ANSWER IT AND SEND IT TO ME by hitting reply to poster at the bottom, THEN COPY AND REPOST IT FOR YOURSELF!


1.Your Full Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
5. Favorite Song:
6. Favorite Band/Rapper/Artist:
7. Kinky or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:

HERE COMES THE FUN ... ... ...

1. Do we know each other outside of myspace?

2. Whats your philosophy on life??

3. Would you have my back in a fight?

4. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?

5. What is your favorite memory of us?

6. Have we ever been drunk together?

7. Would you give me a kidney?

8. Tell me one odd/intresting fact about you:

9. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?

10. Can we get together and make a cake?

11. have you heard any rumors of me lately?

12. Do you/have you talk(ed) crap about me?

13. Do you think I'm a good person?

14. Would you drive across country with me?

15. Do you think I'm attractive?

16. Have I seen you naked?

15. do you wanna have sex with me?

17. If you could change anything about me, would you? what would it be?

18. What do you wear to sleep?

19.Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?

20. Would you go on a date with me if i asked you?

21. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?

Why must we lie about our age!

This question is starting to IRK me!!! Big time!!! I know it shouldn' be bothering me... but it is. I know women who are proud of their age. One of my dearst friends in the world isn't afraid of it! She is turning 49 in a few months and is proud of it!!! Her sister is 44 and damn proud of it! I am 39 and in a month and a half will be 40. I'm damn proud of it!!! None of us actually look our ages... we could easily knock ten years off and get a way with it, but we don't.

Then there are the women who lie about it. They lie to get ahead, they lie because they are afraid men won't want them if they fess up, they lie because growing old is an insult to them... One of them keeps telling the world that she is 33... when if fact she is 38. I know because I have seen the drivers licence. The other one is also 38 but continues to tell everyone she is 35... I know her real age because she told me one night when she was drunk! And this is bothering me. It's not bothering me because of my own vanity. I just told you my age so I can't be that vain. It's bothering me because these women are ashamed of saying they are older and that makes them ashamed of us, the ones who tell people how old they are... and that is starting to annoy me!

Happy Evil Day!

Happy Evil day everyone. Today is 6, 6, 6, (June 6, 2006).

Which is fitting because I am apparently evil! This is according to both people I know and strangers... See my article this week at shebytches.com.

I've decided to give in to the darkside.

Yours Truly,

Darth Lina

my week from hell...

Welcome to my week from hell! Being the child of Loki, I'm am not surprised by it all... just growing increasingly tired of it. All Hell broke loose Monday morning with the TTC strike, Tuesday I was late due to many delays on the subway... yesterday was 40 minutes late due to the west bound train being shut down because an emergency... then today... it's month end at work and anything that could go wrong did! More motivation for me to get enough freelance work to stay at home and write all day...

cs

me complain?

I am not going to complain about the heat. I'm not. I may be melting, but after the crap weather on the may 24th long weekend, I welcome the warmth! Just wish some of this excess fat would melt off!

What I am going to complain about is the TTC. You know, the only public transit system taht went on strike today without giving us fair warning... you know.. those idiots!!! I understand why their reasons for going on strike, but don't feel there actions made sense. There were other venues they could have taken to air their greivances. Not put 700,000 commuters in a bind. Fortunately I have a decent and understanding boss who told me it was ok just to stay at home for the day.

I do have to say that I did get quite a bit done. I am making progress on a short story I am writing for a submission, some paperwork out of the way, got the new issue of shebytches.com up in record time and am progressing on the book I am reading. 'The Jazz Age' by F. Scott Fitzgerald. I don't remember the last time I was able to just sit back and read for a few hours, in my back yard, listening to the birds.

Back to the 9 to 5 tomorrow, which I hope will soon turn into me sitting at home and writing and getting paid for it.

cs

I want a do over...

Ask me if I am depressed and bitter about the crappy weather over the long weekend!!! No really go ahead and ask me... I woke up this morning and looked out at sunshine... the forecast is predicting warm sunny days... today at lunch I didn't need my jacket... WHY COULDN'T the weekend have been that way... hmmm... hmmm.

NO, no... it had to be crap. Yes I was busy working on my portfolio for a good chunk of it.. but Sunday decided I would spend the afternoon out. The only day I could really and what happened... CRAPPY weather... It was cold and wet and CRAP! Oh the weather people are predicting a long, hot, dry summer, could it have not started on the long weekend... How come the Americans get perfect weather for their upcoming Memorial Day weekend... why...WHY???

What was accomplished, seeing as I was stuck inside... well let me see...
Portfolio is 80% done.
House is tidy
Planted some herbs
I spend some quality time with spiders in my basement office...
I defiantly BBQ'ed last night in the freezing cold!

Not accomplished...
Yard work
Planting in my garden
Getting some much needed sun.. I glow in the dark currently...
Sitting on my front porch drinking wine
Having dinner outside on the deck

I say we should get a do over... we should be able to have this coming Monday off as well!

me no blog.. me bad

wow, just realized it's been a few days since I blogged... me slow!!! well actually been trying to get an online porfolio up. www.carolinasmart.ca. it's not live yet, will be by end of the weekend, there is only a holder page right now.. and when it does go live it will be missing a few documents.. but... am working away on them...

oh and check out viki's myspace http://www.myspace.com/2milestore

Flutter and Flames

i'm scared of butterflies

what to do when it's gloomy

I have been listening to Latin music all day. It sure takes the gloom out of a day!!!

Makes you want to get us and dance!

obsession or infactuation

It's official! I have a new obsession. myspace.com. I have set Shebytches up with a myspace.com/shebytches space to post our events and because we are having things happen on a daily basis latetly it seems, it is a fab way to keep everyone up todate! I have become obsessed with it though. There are many cool indie artists and writers and it's such an amazing tool for networking!!!! LOVE IT!!!!!!!!

It's been nutso the last few days... hence the me not posting. Weekend vanished on me. Sat was busy nuts and Sunday I helped Di out at the clothing show. I was mostly disappointed with the selection of vendors. It was either the same old or the new ones weren't very impressive. The ones that always blow me away are Nathalie-Roze (who was in a booth with Smitten Kitten (uber cute), Play Dead (Bean and the team always have the coolest clothes there), Moonrox, Domistyle, Joaned, Steen and of course my girl Di at Flyballbags.com. Otherwise.. not really impressed.

And V, incase you get to log on while you are in Cuba.. the cats and I are making progress on our plan....

ever wonder....

Do you ever wonder what is real and what is fake. Every day I wonder. I see women with fake everything (faces, lips, breasts, etc), men with fake personalities, celebrities that are well just fake... ok... this could be a really long fake out.. so what point am I trying to make here, well I signed us up for myspace.com/shebytches to post our events etc. and in the process of getting us all set, up I came across two profiles of two supposed celebrities... so I began to wonder..

... could these be posers... both are quite huge stars, one of the two set up their myspace about 3 years ago the other recently... both had accurate information and one (a male) had a bunch of half naked people commenting... which doesn't surprise me.. but... are these really real.

One has to wonder.

One of the two also had the worst written english on the face of the earth. I wonder if they know kids are probably checking their page out. Yes am being anal, but alot of these kids look up to this person and if they see how that person writes they will think it is ok for them as well.

So I continue to wonder... what is real and what isn't

dead like me...

*sigh* once again I have taken the time to relax and watch a bit of TV.... once again I have discovered an awesome show that is no longer on TV...

Dead Like Me... biting, dark, hysterical!!! and only lasted for two seasons... why, Why WHY!!! The idea is beyond fantastic, the cast is amazing, the story lines supurb... why cancel it... Idiots!!!

http://www.deadlikeme.tv/index.php

hookey

wanted to play hookey today! it's hard to go to work when it is so perfect out!!!

I may have traveled half way around the world

Today it felt like I traveled half way around the world and back again. At least my feet feel that way. I had a very long list of things I needed to get and achieve today... I started at one end of the subway system and worked my way back. Eager to check the contents off the list as quickly as I could, I started my journey and the road down disappointment.

'Sold out, we don't carry that anymore, I don't think we have ever had that'... words that started to rub me like sand paper... finally at shopping stop number 4 and score... I was able to find one of the things on my list. Frustrated, hungry and in need of caffeine, I stopped for a few minutes to regroup. I decided to complete some of the non supply purchases end of the list. Big mistake.

Aren't people in customer service positions suppose to be.. well... helpful... one would think. As you will see in a previous blog I took the dreaded grey hound bus to where my parents live. Thankfully I didn't have to endure the ride back, but that meant I had to refund my ticket. Today I went to the station to do just that and had to deal with a ticket agent who looked like he was sucking on a sour candy... and a nasty piece of work sitting in the wicket beside him.

As I was dealing with Mr. Sour Puss, an eighty year old woman walked up to Ms. You Need to Stand in the Line to ask a question. After berating the poor thing and sending her on her way she had the nerve to say 'just because she is old.' We exchanged dirty looks as I was being shoved out of the way by the next customer. Mr. Sour Puss couldn't seem to get me out of the way fast enough. As he was shoving my money at me he was yelling "NEXT" Assholes.

After that fun experience, I strolled over to Chinatown in hopes of finding some of my supplies... one should never venture into Chinatown on a Saturday.. you can barely more for the crowds... but today had an added bonus.... on the way I was blocked by some protest.. then once I got there, I didn't realize it was 'International Hork Day.' Women, children and men alike were participating... I may have even seen a dog doing it... I walked four blocks dancing around the airborne phylum and the stuff on the ground... really is Horking necessary!!!!!!!

After Chinatown I headed to Queen Street. While in the shower this morning I had an idea for a new piece of merchandise. With a vision in my head I walked into what seemed to be the busiest store on the planet... I could barely move and once in the store was stuck and unable to get back out... after searching for 40 minutes and unable to get assistance from the clerks I finally found the things I need. (btw, tried making one tonight and I quite like it! Will get V's opinion tomorrow). Whoo hoo things off my list. About 20 more to go...

After some more running around Queen street and completely flabbergasted that I couldn't find anything... I hoped on the street car and headed east... there were more things I needed to get at the other end. This was a streetcar ride that almost put me over the top.

If the annoying 14 year old girls weren't bad enough, the lady with the really long dreadlocks, sitting in front of me, just about drove me to going postal. She hit me three times with her dreads... three times!!! On the third swat I said 'hey do you mind.' At which she gave me a dirty look... how dare I sit behind her... geez... her and her son got off the street car...

When I finally arrived at the other end... once again... 'sorry we seemed to be sold out.' fortunately they ordered me what I needed but it took the owner 15 minutes to explain it all to me... really I didn't need to know how you go about ordering stuff... just get it for me!!!!!

Of course my timing was off the entire day and I kept missing subway trains, streetcars and buses...

It took five hours to accomplish 4 things.... it should have only taken 2.

I need a margarita!

shouldn't blogging be fun???

A local television morning show did a show this week on blogging. When I found out they were doing it I was happy and excited. Until I saw what blogs they chose... I have to say they were some of the most boring, bland and uninteresting blogs I have ever seen! EVER! Really, if I didn't know anything about blogging and saw these blogs, well, I wouldn't bother... what would be the point... boring....

so... I sent them an email stating my utter disappointment with their choices, I told them to email me and included this blog in the body of the letter. If you guys decide to check me out... also check out these blogs... they are the ones you should have featured. These are interesting and they are full of creativity!

http://shebytches.blogspot.com (of course)
http://lizzievioletsblog.blogspot.com
http://twomile.blogspot.com
http://deliriumslibrary.blogspot.com/
http://strange.livejournal.com/
http://thecalaverakid.blogspot.com/
http://transmission-x.blogspot.com/
http://sumachstreetmysteries.blogspot.com/

While you are at it check out all the cool links I have to the right!!!

Flappers

I love knowledge and I LOVE to study history. Personally I think the most fascinating time for me to study is from 1900-1960. The world went through so much change it's crazy. The particular era's I tend to read about the most is the 1920's and the 1950's. But what I am most interested in are Flappers. Ever since I was a child I have been obessessed with them. I even wore a flapper dress to a end of year dance in high school. My outfit was complete with long pearls and a flapper hat!

After the Suffragette movement, I think Flappers were the next group of women to make a stand and show the world they had minds of their own! I love the clothes, the music, the movies and the attitude!

Which reminds me. I need to see if I can find my F. Scott Fitzgerald collection. Where could that have gone?

http://www.geocities.com/flapper_culture/
http://history1900s.about.com/od/1920s/a/flappers.htm
http://stampsmith.net/flappers.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flapper
http://www.crimetime.co.uk/features/flapperstofilmnoir.php
http://www.silentladies.com/zFlappers.html
http://faculty.pittstate.edu/~knichols/jazzage.html

My long trip to see my parents.

I finally made it to my home town to see my parents and to see how my father is doing since his stroke. I only went for the weekend and that is about as much of my hometown as I can take. I hadn't been there is almost four years. Normally I would rent a car and drive up, but turns out taking a bus was cheaper and I figured since I would only be there for one evening what was the point of the extra expense. After that bus ride, I am splurging for a car next time!

These are all the reasons why!

~I had to be up at 5:30 am on a Saturday.
~I took public transit to the bus station. Why are there so many people using the subway at 6:30 on a Saturday morning?
~I had to be at the station one hour before my bus arrived to buy my ticket because the ticket line is always huge.
~I had to wait in the bus line up 30 minutes before it arrived as people started lining up at 7 am. It was raining (we were sheltered) cold and damp.
~80% of the people in the line were trailer trash/rednecks. 10 percent students and 5 percent elderly and 5% somewhat normal (I put myself selfishly in this category)
~As a bonus there were no screaming children and thankfully NO ONE sat beside me.
~3 of the passengers were a farmer and his two female companions. He put his arms up at one point. the entire bus filled with really nasty B/O. You can't open the windows on the bus. How the bus driver didn't pass out and crash the bus was a miracle.
~There was a very strange little man who spent the entire bus ride in the bathroom. Each time someone had to use it he would come out stand by the door and when they exited, he went back in.
~I have long legs and there is hardly any leg room.
~Aside from the smelly farmer the bus smelled weird.
~It was only a four hour trip... can you imaged a longer one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My parents felt sorry for me and drove me back...

Breath...

Someone just told me she is paying a therapist $150 for 5, 1 hour sessions teaching her how to breath. That's right... breath. I understand that she is taking these sessions to help reduce stress, but really why would anyone want to pay someone else $30 an hour to teach them to breath. Last time I checked you had to breath or you would die.

People are really taking advantage of our over stressed society. It's a huge winfall for them, but personally I draw the line when it comes to breathing. Paying someone that much money to teach me something I am already doing is a load of hooey... She would have been better off spending that $150 on a month pass for yoga.

Ok, now Breath... and you owe me $2 for my time!

stuff to do...

am now addicted to this... way to go soph! http://www.librarything.com

and if you are zinesters, these gals are creating a travelling zine library... donate to them. I am. Get in touch with Nita Mocanu of LADYFEST Romania http://ladyfest-ro.pimienta.org/

I would rather be playin hookey right now...

and you have to read this blog, it is one of my favourites!!! http://deliriumslibrary.blogspot.com/

and while you are cruising in cyberspace check out two of my girls newly updated websites. www.willowdawson.com and www.steflenk.com

cool blogs....

everyone needs to go to bardcafe.blogspot.com and start posting poems!!! I insist!

also going up north this weekend to visit my parents... of course it is raining the entire time... and they changed the bus route, so if i don't take the 8 am bus... which is 4 hours, i have to take another bus that is 8 hours... the trip is only 3 hours in the car... you do the math...

what did I accomplish and another weird dream

I am wrapping up a 4 day weekend and feel like I have accomplished nothing. By the time I get through all of the administrative shit or running things, there is no time left to write... or at least that is what it feels like!!! Clone me please.

Well, the weird dreams are back.. well I think always have weird dreams but this one I vividly remembered.

I am seeing an 8 year old girl with long black hair sitting on the edge of her bed. Her name is Innocence (I know this as I hear her Mother calling her by that name). i know that she is having a birthday party but has been scolded by her mother for doing something that she didn't do. Her Mother talks to her in a very condecending way. Like how an old fashion school-marm would talk down to a child. I find out from her mother's scolding that another one of the girls at the party has blamed her for something. I am not sure what exactly what has happened, but Innocence is well innocent. I can tell because I can actually feel her emotional pain. Because of what happened she was sent to her room and her birthday party continues without her. She sits on the edge of her bed listening to all the other children laughing and playing without her. But I can also tell she doesn't mind and didn't want the party to begin with.

I can see that she is wearing a dingy dress and her hair is falling in her face, her hands folded in her lap she looks at the groudn and will not answer her mother
even though she knows she didn't do anything. She seems like a child who has never know a moment of joy. She is filled with eternal sadness.

Later her mother comes into her room and asks her to go back to the party but Innocence continues to sit on her bed does not answer her mother only looks at the ground.

Innocence surroundings are very nice and clean and her mother is very well dressed, very proper looking. Seems almost cold.

I don't know if Innocence goes back to the party as I woke up.

Craigslist

I LOVE Craigslist (craigslist.org). I posted something last week and have had tonnes of responses! It is almost overwhelming. Why I hadn't thought of this sooner....

Until a month ago all I knew about Craigslist was it was an amazing tool being used by Katrina victims. They were using it to find family or lost pets. I had no clue the vast amount of information that can be found on this amazing list. Not only can you looks for jobs, apartments or mates. You can buy, sell, post events...you name it!!!

It's an amazing tool. So use it!!!

bit behind

I am a bit behind on posting... we can blame the government... but at least my taxes are done now.

Also, we are putting a call out for submissions for our website and quarterly zine. For more details go to www.shebytches.com/submissions.html or email submissions@shebytches.com.

In other news, Laura had her baby!!! Check out her blog for details http://beginningsofninjaapprentice.blogspot.com/

the princess affect...

everyone one knows one, or works with one or knows someone who knows someone... I work with one... she appears to have the picture perfects life. mommy and daddy paid her way through university, she has a job that is perfect, her friends are out of a magazine, she is engaged to a man who a mover and shaker and well into the money, they have a perfect penthouse apartment and now she is going down to the tropics to have the perfect wedding. I am sure in a year she will be having the perfect baby. oh and her hair and make up are never out of place.... ever... as a matter of fact I don't think I have ever seen lint on her perfect black suit. she is also one of the phoniest people I have ever met. her 'oh hiiiiiii' makes me cringe... like nails down a chalk board.

what a princess...

am I jealous... not at all... how boring it would be to be her... my entire life has been a struggle, I fight for everything I have and will have to fight for everything I want. It would be nice if once.. just once something was handed to me, but that isn't going to happen. no rather we live in a world of those who are given and those who fight.

I am not the only one who is in this battle. One of my dearest friends is as well. Together we fight the good fight and eventually it will pay off. We don't rely on our looks to get us what we want and rich men are a joke. Really they are. It would be nice though if some of their money fell our way though.

Do I want to be a princess... good gawd no. I want to be the Bloody QUEEN. And I will!!!

why the double standard

I have been seeing quite a bit in the news recently regarding a murder in the US. A women killed her preacher husband. Today one of the headlines read "Why did she kill her husband?"

Why is it when a man kills a woman, there is no question as to 'the why'. Yet when a woman kills a man.. they ask that very specific question. Shouldn't that question be asked no matter if it is a man or woman committing the crime?

Think about it. If the time was taken to ask that question every single time a man commits a violent act against a , we would better understand violence against women, and in fact... we may be able to actually stop it.

mey...

I woke this morning and thought.. meh....

things aren't happening fast enough... why must I be so impatient.

this weekend... I go bowling with the girls... this is the last bit of fun before I hunkerdown. After April 8th, I am dedicating my spare time to writing and working on rebuilding our websites. I am becoming miser with my money as well. Debts need to vanish. If I am to continue my attempts at applying for grant money. At some point I will be living off of just that so being in debt can no longer be part of my life.

at one point a few weeks ago I looked at my back yard and thought to myself... I am going to enjoy my backyard this summer... not realizing that didn't mean, bbq's and drinking wine till 4 am... rather meaning, laptop on patio table working till I have enough meet in my book to shop it around. It needs to be done, meaning fun will be sacraficed.

I have blinders on now to many things...

and now the real work begins...

determined to put my life in order and start living my dream... I have now booked my self with my computer till my books are ready to go to a publisher. a few people have already did the 'what... but... you won't be hanging out... you need to have some fun...' i have had to break to it them, not so gently... no fun for me till I get done. They balked, I shrugged... oh well.

the writing and the websites are now my priority. no more extra projects. my social life will become non existent. once i get to where i need to be I will re-evaluate and maybe emerge from my basement. at least the weather is warmer and I can start working in my backyard soon. I will be socializing with the birds.

some might think I am being selfish. so be it. the blinders are already on.

I cannot STAND nylons.

I cannot STAND nylons. With spring here, I want to start wearing skirts more often, but it's just a wee bit too cold to go barelegged... so I have to struggle with nylons. A man must have invented them because I view them as a torture device. I have yet to find a pair that:

a) fits properly... when it says it is XTall, fits up to 5"11" and 200 lbs (neither of which I am) I not only expect them to fit... but have extra room.
b) have yet to snag... I can never wear the same pair twice and am unlikely to make it out of my house with out a hole. this morning I lasted 5 minutes in them
c) would like to not have to struggle to keep my balance when putting them on... someone could video tape me and sell it to funniest home video.... I look like a circus freak!

That same man probably also invented the underwire bra, the corset and the girdle... that man is evil!

wide awake

a few things I realized because of last weeks events:

~EVERYONE needs to stop smoking. It's a major cause of stroke, lung and heart disease and probably a large factor in regards to my father having a stroke. I don't want anyone else to go through this.
~I have some really great friends who care about what is going on with me. I was suppose to hang out with two of them Sat night but just couldn't do it. I have had stomach issues all week because the stress and I was in a major anti social mood. I have snapped out of it.
~I am awake now. I will not be 66 years old suffering an illness and wishing I had lived my dreams. I may be 39, but I know exactly what that dream is now and I am going to fulfill it. My father wanted to be a song writer but never lived his dreams. It's not too late and when he is better I am going to remind him of it. I am also now going to be extremely selfish with my time. No more additional projects. The focus is on me and my work. No one else can do it for me.
~I am a writer because of my father. My father is an incredible story teller. So am I and it is something I inherited from him.
~Live my life with no regrets and enjoy it!

week from hell....

...didn't get a couple of grants we applied for... the system is so screwed up... some flying squirrels having sex got the grants instead.

... then my dog have formed bumps in two locations he received injections (rabies, kennel cough) but this is something I was warned might happen... me being paranoid I am worried about him... but he seems fine...

... my dad was rushed to the hospital with severe head pain... they don't know what's wrong... after many tests still don't.

a good friend told me the universe is testing me.. It tests me on a regular basis and I wish it would stop... I think I've passed already...

riddle

Here is a riddle for you. Answer below.

How do you get money to publish something, but you have to publish it before you can have the money?





Answer: become a flying squirrel

spring is in the... the what?????????

today if officially the first day of spring... the kind that comes with a windchill...

no shadow my ass!

am going to hunt me an albino groundhog...

slowly losing my mind...

wow! what the hell is wrong with my brain. i know it is quite full these days and i do stress about trying to get everything i need to get done done. i don't sleep well and am sure that is effecting my short term memory. this morning was a wake up call though. i forgot to lock my front door. i know i had keys in hand.. i remember putting them back in my bag... but i didn't actually use them.

something has got to give. though i have removed a few things from my plate, several other things need to go. i can't even remember to do something as important as lock my front door. what's next... am I going to leave the gas stove on... thing is, I am an chronic insomniac. the only solution according to doctors at this point is medication... which i refuse to take... there needs to be other alternatives... otherwise... this morning scared me...

i know that going forward i can no longer take on other projects. i have to stick to the website and writing only... i continually get request to do this and that and have been saying no... but i have to start saying no to them all... they ask because they know they can count on me to come through for them.. but i think it is time for me to become extremely selfish with my time...

... before i lose anymore of it...

winter... spring... winter.. spr.. what the f...

7 days till it is officially spring... someone needs to tell the weather that....

40 days and 40...

40 days and 40...

ok... it's raining.. I hate rain and snow.. but at least rain means spring is on the way... and it is washing away the left over snow and all the dirt it left behind... I just didn't appreciate the torrential down pour I had to endure during my ten minute walk to the subway... that's all.

this weekends weather, especially yesterday was so glorious.. it made me want to break out the patio furniture and oh how I wanted to BBQ... For the last two weeks I have been aching to go to the island and spend the day walking around, dreaming about the journey on the ferry were I would feel the breeze brushing past my ears and making my hair dance. the smell of the water... I can't wait for it to be warm enough for me to do these things...

winter was short this year.. but never short enough for me....

sleepless nights and unusual visions....

the weird dreams are back... weirder than ever... am not sure how to write this one so please bare with me.

I am in an old hall. The kind you would hold a reception in (there are panelled walls and lots of wooden furniture). I am standing beside a large rectangular table and piles of papers are on it. I appear to be working on something. A co-worker who is about to leave the company (quit), comes in and asks if I am done yet and is being very friendly, which I find odd as normally he would have nothing to do with me. I say yes I am and start to tidy up the piles. Three teenage girls come in and start sitting on the table and the piles of paper.

I am a bit frustrated with their impatience and tell them they will have to wait, as I am leaving and just cleaning up and they can have the table when I am done. We all notice a standing ornanament box sitting on the table. It seems antique, one of the girls peer into the windows of the box and asks who it belongs to. I say that I am not sure, it doesn't belong to me. She replies, "Good, they are ugly." I take a look at what she is referring to and the box is filled with very small figurines of very tall and stick like people. I shrug my shoulders and grab two little brass cups (that look like upside down bells with etching on them) off the top of the box and as I put them in my bag they make a tinging noise. The same girl says, I though that stuff wasn't yours. I reply, "oh the box isn't but these are." She then asks me what they are for and I say, "they are ceremonial."

I am not done packing several very large and heavy black bags with all the paper and am about ready to leave. My co-worker says are you done and I say I am. He then leaves without offering to help me carry the bags. I load them up, without reaction to this and leave the building.

end of dream...

hell mouth...

I've found the hellmouth... and I am sitting on it!!!!!!!!

I need to get out of my basement.

I need to get out of my basement. Really, I mean that literally. In case you are wondering no I am not a troll... though some days.... you see my office is down there... I was down there till quite late last night, working, writing, wondering what it would be like if I was able to do it full time... during the day, so I would have my evenings free.

This need to get out of my basement walloped me some time after midnight last night. I had finally emerged, sat in front theTV for 15 minutes and caught the last half of Sex In the City. The Ep where Carrie gets to be a model in a fashion show and falls down during her strut along the runway. Seeing this made me realize a few things.

~the whole getting out the basement thing - because I spend so much time down there I missed out on a very entertaining show (Sex In the City), and only realized it after it has already been cancelled. What else am I missing out on.
~If a show like Sex In the City can make it on HBO (and when I say that I mean, a show about a bunch of women who are smart and interesting and funny, where the women have the power... take a look around, these kinds of shows are rare) so can something I've created.
~I'm really not working hard enough, I need to fast track my books and get them to the point where a publisher will love them... which means I won't be getting out of the basement anytime soon... but when I do, it will all be worth it...
~how even more disgusted I am in the entertainment world... there is no original anything anymore. I refuse to go to the movies because of it and have little interest in televison as well. I purposely didn't watch the Oscars for those reasons. Though I was happy when Philip Seymour Hoffman won for best actor. It was well deserved. Oh wait... another reason I can't come out of my basement... I need to help Hollywood solve it's problem.

Well.. at least I can't get a sunburn down there.

pamper me baby

tonight, i was pampered... that's right I had a facial! my girl denise is starting out with her own esthetics business at the rejuvenation room downtown Toronto. her products are all natural and she makes you feel right at home!!! I have already booked a pedi!!! she can be contacted at daylilyethetics@gmail.com.

then prior to that I had the day from hell... someone please drop a large amount of cash on my lap so i can do shebytches and write full time!!!

c

new toys and shiney things

Ah... the beauty of a new computer... though the money I put towards my new iBook should have paid off some of the credit card... I well decided to splurge on me!!! I have had my other mac... a powerbook for 6.5 years. I finally got to a point where I couldn't upgrade it any longer and it was time for a newer model.

I was a like child last night on Christmas morning anxious to get my new toy, to get home and set it up. I was up till one am playing with it. Setting up the internet, adding my perifials, then came time to install my software. I use Dreamweaver, photoshop, illustrator, office and quark... guess what I found out... you can't install any software for os 9 on an os X machine. NONE OF IT!!!

What to do! What to do!!! I was able to solve my Office problem. Turns out you can save your work in Apple works as a word file. Whew!!! Now for the other 4. I will figure it out. I always do. In the meantime, my older baby can still do the work. Tonight I now need to go home and re arrange my desk to suit two laptops... will actually look kinda cool... like a real office...

Now I sit anxiously awaiting 5 pm so I can go home and play... play... PLAY!!!

tomatoes

Ever have one of those days were you wonder how you make it through the day without physically hurting those around you. I am having that type of day today! For the first time in a very long time, I woke up in a happy mood... happy because by 6 pm tonight I will be the proud owner of a new iBook. I have been waiting two years to get a new mac and today is the day! Then I came into work and in a matter of 30 minutes had pissed off at least 4 people. Record time.

Everyones needs are a priority it seems... everyone but mine!

To top it all off, I am craving tomatoes...

Girls Will Be Girls

...yes they will and in more ways than one. I rarely watch TV, partly because most of my time is dedicated to writing... I have two books to ready for spring so I can bombard publishers with them, and partly because there is NOTHING decent on TV anymore. A few weeks ago, I finally found something worth watching. Something that not only made me proud to be a Torontoian, but excited that four very funny women were starring in their own half hour show on the Comedy Network. It is called Girls Will Be Girls. Their show is four women doing pranks on unsuspecting people (on Tuesdays and Saturdays).

I have to tell you, I have never laughed so hard in all my life. I finally had something decent to watch! Then last night I found out... they have been cancelled. Why? Why would the network cancel such a entertaining, invotive, and women based show???

Between the fact that there is nothing worth watching on TV anymore and the that all the movies coming out now are remakes.... I may cancel my cable and ban mainstream, big budget film. Indie everything for me from now on!!!

Come on big networks and movie studios... give talented women a chance and new ideas a chance!!!

get your freak on...

I've now confirmed the conclusion that my neighbours think I am a freak. Why? Each time I see one of them they make this face. The "OH, God it's her, what do I do, do I turn around and pretend to have forgotten to lock my door. Do I turn around and walk back to my house. Do I smile and hope she doesn't eat me alive??? " You know the look... I got that look again this morning as I walked down my front steps just as a neighbour approached. They stopped dead in their tracks. Not sure what to do. I decided to make them talk to me. I have never seen someone so uncomfortable before in my life.

I am sure you are wondering what it is that I have done to make my neighbours feel that way. I am a nice person, don't get me wrong and anyone who truly knows me will tell you that. Our house looks nice and tidy. The paint isn't even chipping. It's a nice neighbourhood with many elderly people and yuppies with young children....except for us of course... you see I am a creative person, and all of my friends are creative. Writers, artists, musicians... many of them with tattoos, dressed in black and with multiple piercings... and when you see these types of people come and go on a regular basis, well the neighbours don't know what to think... but, rather... they just assume. She has freaks going in her house... means she is a freak... What ever... At least I can hold an interesting conversation.

high tea

Wow, am not sure what happened but I actually was able to watch 20 minutes of TV last night. After putting up the weekly issue of shebytches I decided to call it a night. My sinuses where killing me. I really should have been writing but.... During those twenty minutes I watched a show about living large in London. Seeing this reminded me how much I want to go to there to visit. There are so many places in this world I could go to but London and Scotland always seem to call!!! Watching that show brought back so many memories of the stories I heard from my Grandma Betty.

Growing up my Grandma Betty taught us many of tradition and one of them was High Tea... lucky for me she didn't choose to serve haggis on these occassions! So I have decided it is time for me to go to High Tea. I think the Windsor Arms is the only place in Toronto that does it proper, I will have to find out!

One day I will finally make it to Great Britian, but in the mean time and seeking out ways to full fill my craving here!

frozen...

fingers... frozen... to... keyboard... can't...type...much...

the wind has ruined my hair...

blah, blah, blahhhhhhhhhhhh... it's friday... one would think i would be happy about this... excited even... but am so tired right now i don't... even... care...

GROUNDHOG STEW

I have two words right now... GROUNDHOG STEW... that's right... early spring my ass... oh I can smell the albino groundhog cooking... RIGHT NOW!!!

Rush, Rush, Rush

Why must everyone be in such a rush all the time. This morning a little man decided he needed to rush past everyone, almost knocking me and two others over, in order to get on the train first. It wasn't as if their was only one seat left. There were tonnes, but it seemed so much more important for him to be on the train first...

We all tend to rush to much. When we are kids we rush to be a teenage. As a teenager we rush to be old enough to drink. Then suddently we realize we are turning thirty and then forty. Now, these days we rush for the weekend to come. We rush, rush, rush and then one day you will be laying on your death bed thinking where did all the time go.

Slow down people!!!!!!!!! Our life span is fairly short, enjoy it while you are here.

Happy Crappy VDAY

Happy Crappy VDAY. As you can probably tell from that statement I am not a fan of today. Today retail exploits what use to be a beautiful love story. Anyone really know how Valentines Day really started? You want to know the real history behind it all look here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St._Valentine and not it isn't about candy. Just like Halloween isn't about candy or Easter...

The other reason I am not a fan is memories of public school. Now a days on valentines you have to bring a card for everyone, but that wasn't the case when I was a child. Then you only gave valentines to the people you liked. Remember Charlie Brown on valentines day... that was me in a nutshell. I would go to school hopeful that someone, anyone would give me one. I would usually come home with three. Out of a class of 25 that was pretty pitiful. My mother was always anticipating more as well and when I would walk by with my head hung she knew not to talk about it, rather making me my favourite meal, cupcakes and steering my father from the topic. She could see the hurt and knew how to make me feel better. Sometimes when I think back was it mother's instinct or did she suffer the same heart break every Feb 14th when she was a child.

Even to this day no one seems to find it necessary to do anything special for me on this fake 'special day'. I don't get cards, flowers, or letters from secret admirers. Every February 14th is just a normal day for me, which is fine, we celebrate it for all the wrong reasons anyway.

monday.. bloody...monday...

once again it is monday and I find myself sitting in front of my corporate computer at the corporate office I work for. I spend my weekends writing my ass off in hopes of pulling together something significant enough for a publishing company to want to publish. I am tired of waking up exhausted, as I spend every availabe minute of my weekends pursing my dream, never resting enough to feel awake.

each time I walk through the revolving doors to this building my heart sinks. I have a dream and a goal and will get there. I grow impatient though, but this cannot be rushed.

The last two weeks I have realized that regret and grudges are wasted energy and I can no long full fil those emotions. I prefer the bluntness of honesty and the need for respect. The past is the past and there it shall stay.

I woke this morning, more determined than ever. As far as I am concerned doors no longer have hinges and cannot be shut on me.

STOP DRAGGING YOUR FEET...

I am usually a very tolerant person. It takes alot for someone to get on my nerves. Once in a while someone will be an exception and make me want to yell at them and tell them to shut up!!! There is one obnoxious guy at work who is one of those exeptions. That's not what I am bitching about today. Today is about someone who skuffs there feet as they walk. Why must they do that... WHY!!! This is one thing that drives me nuts... for me it is equal to having someone run their nails down a chalk board... or metal rubbing against metal. I cannot stand that sound!!!
Everywhere I go people are walking like that... are their feet so heavy that they cannot pick them up????

PEOPLE PICK UP YOUR FEET WHEN YOU WALK.

nightmares...

Every once in a while I will have these very intense dreams in which I am being chased through the jungle by someone who is trying to kill me. I think it has been a few months since the last one. The man, oddly enough, chasing me in these dreams is 'The Rock' and he is decked out in jungle warfare gear, including a very large fully automatic machine gun. Each time he gets a bit closer to catching me. In this dream I know his only goal is to kill me. There seems to be no reason other than to hunt me down and finish me off.

Last night I saw the white of his eyes. When this happened I sat straight up in bed gasping for air. I swear it felt like I was about to have a heart attack. I know these dreams mean something other than what they originally appear as. It's my subconscience telling me something. The problem is they frighten me due to their intensity. I am also becoming quite frustrated with these cliff hanger dreams, get to the point already!!!

I am working towards a dream and determined to make it happen. I have been working incredibley hard to get there and maybe this dream is the little girl in me showing her fear of failure. But I refuse to fail at this. Maybe in the next dream I will stand up to the Rock and tell him to piss off.... um.. ok.. right... but you know what I mean.

oye

it's not even noon and I have already managed to piss off three people... gonna be a good day!

the evil we know...

...and I thought my Monday was crappy... woke this morning with cramps and sinus headache... a demon as our prime minister, and news of two more shootings... could it be possible that toronto was built on the hell mouth.
oh and if one more person asks me if I watched the super bowl or asks me about survivor!!! I WILL LOSE IT!!!!!!!!

I want my weekend back!!!

what a weekend! friday night was spend preparing for saturday's zine fair... which was a bust... there seemed to be lots of people wandering through the fair, but no one was interested in, well... zines or books or anything that had to do with reading... zine fair people... that's what you should have been there to buy... lesson learned, bring knitted stuff to sell.. the lady at the table across from us has about 15 knitted pieces on her table and had to leave early because she sold out...

... not only was I there for 8 hours... the weather was absolute CRAP.

... sundays weather was just as bad.... but I stayed in a wrote and worked on the grant.... now it's monday again... bleech!

I want my weekend back!!!!!!!

what a waste...

Ever suddenly realize you don't have anything in common with someone. Anything at all. For me this is something of an odd nature as I am always able to find something that I have an interest with almost everyone. At least one thing. This morning after replaying a conversation in my head I realized there is someone out there that I have absolutely nothing in common with. Nothing.

The convesation that started all of this was about what we did on our weekends. My response was my entire three day weekend was spent working on the website print zine, house errand, filling out grants and writing. There wasn't even enough time to get it all done. I spent the entire weekend working on things to help me get to a point where I can fulfill a dream. My answer was brushed aside by this person as they went on and on about how they spent the entire weekend (thats from Friday when they got home from work, till sunday when they went to bed) sitting on a couch watching a dvd box set and they were upset when they had to stop watching to go buy food. This is what this person does pretty much every single weekend.

How do you spend your life like this. Wasting your days watching TV, letting your life pass you by. I spend every available minute working towards my dreams. I don't have the luxury of being able to watch tv for hours on end. My max of TV watching for the week is the hour I get to watch Most Haunted and the occassional movie on scream. It is considered a miracle if I watch more than that. I was actually quite shocked when I had a week that I actually made the time for myself to watch three movies on the scream channel. Even then it wasn't from beginning to end. I just don't have time and cannot seem to wrap my head around those who don't have the drive to better themselves, make their lives more interesting.

The other thing that is starting to bother me as well is this person constantly complains that they have no social life, they don't date or do anything interesting. "That's because you don't leave your couch!!!!!!!!!!!!" They whine and whine and whine and it is starting to get to me. I also have a college friend whose entire goal in life was to get married, own a perfect home, a cat, a dog and 2.5 kids. No career aspirations, nothing. At one point I asked her why she was even going to college, wasn't it a waste of time?

I don't know, maybe I'm the problem. Maybe my Type A personalilty needs to learn how to be lazy and not care so much. Maybe I am actually overdoing it. Who knows, all that I know is I refuse to waste away on a couch!

slow mo...

Ever feel like everything is moving in slow motion. Today is one of those days. Ever since I woke up I have felt I have been fighting my way through jello. My usual 5 minute walk to the subway felt like it took 30. The train ride felt like I was travelling to another country. And everthing I am doing feels like it is taking forever! Why is that? Was there a weird shit in the universe I am not aware of? Have I falled into the Matrix? Why do I feel this way today.

What it may all boil down to is lack of sleep may be causing my sense of reality and my motorskills to be off...

ssssssssssllllllllllllllooooooooooooowwwwwwwww mmmmmmmmmmoooooooooooooooo

I HATE PUBLIC TRANSIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What Fun! NOT!!! Normally it takes me 20 minutes to get from my subway stop to the one near my work, today it took 45 minutes. There was a medical emergency at Yonge and we sat at Pape station because of it for more than 20 minutes. To the point where passengers were getting hostile and one of them start should profanity. I was about to get off out of concern for my safety when the doors closed and we finally began to move. Very.... Very... SLOWLY.. We crept along.

I was very late getting to work!!! I am so fed up with this. Every day there seems to be something. Most mornings I have to let 3 to 4 packed trains go by before I can even get on... I am fed up with our transit system!!! I am considering alternate ways to get to work... possibly even biking or finding someone in my neighbourhood that drives to work, comes down my way and goes to work the same time I do. I don't know how much more of this frustration I can take.
I hate coming to work pissed off!!!!!!!!!!!

I have to find a different way to get to work!!!!!!!!!