The Battle of Wills

I am having a 'Battle of Wills' with my internet service provider. Since I started using them I have had issues. They are one of the big two so you would think they would know what they are doing... but they don't. Here are some of the standard problems...

I am a mac girl.
They don't have any mac experts so cannot support those of us using macs.

I am back and forth on whether or not to switch to the competitor but all my other mac girlfriends say they aren't any better.

Today I had yet another run in with them.

As I do every morning I check my email before anything else... yes I am an email whore. This morning there wasn't any email in my inbox, nada, nothing, zilch, zip, ZERO. Which is odd, I always have at least spam.

So I did some tests, I could send, not receive and email was showing up in my gmail (which then downloads to my laptop). So I called them. Here was the conversation:

Idiots "Good Morning, Losers are Us technical help, how can I help you this morning?"
Me "Morning, by chance are the incoming mail servers down?"
Idiots "Not this morning, no, everything is fine. Is there a problem?"
Me "Ya, I can send and not recieve.
Idiots "How do you know this?"
Me Pause... biting tongue, "I tested it."
Idiots "Ok, can I have your user information.. blah blah blah"
Idiots "Ok, well, I have checked and everything looks ok, are you sure your Outlook Express Settings are ok?"
Me "Pause, deep breath... I'm on a Mac and use MacMail."
Idiots "Oh. Um, hold on."

Put on hold.

Idiots "Sorry for making you wait. Ok, have pulled up my virtual mac."
Me "Do you have version X up and Mac Mail 2.1?"
Idiots "No, we don't have that MacMail version so I will have to wing it."
Me Long Pause, deep breath.

We go through the settings, all is correct... Of course it is.. I do know what the fuck I am doing...

Conversation continues...

Idiots "Well, I can't see what the problem is, and we don't really support mac's. What I can suggest is we delete your profile on your computer and start from scratch"
Me DeJa Fucking Vu! "My profile, uh, won't that delete everything?"

Idiots "Yes, but unfortunately that is the only way we can fix it."
Me "No, it's not. I've been through this with you guys dozens of times. The last time you did this on my old computer you screwed it up."

Idiots "Excuse me."
Me "Yes, exactly what I said."

Idiots "Well, madame, we don't really support mac's and this is an apple problem."
Me "No it's not, it's a Losers are Us problem. It has been the last 5 times I have called. You need to learn how to support mac's"

Click... yes, i hung up on him.

It took me another 30 minutes but after going through THEIR settings one by one I found the problem, changed the settings and now I get email again. IDIOTS!

Let's change it up...

I've been a vegetarian for over 10 years and recently changed to Vegan. There are many reason why I changed but I won't bore you with those details, rather let me share some of the really neat things I am finding.

I have been on a information quest since I switched up. I am a research junkie so this is beyond fun for me. One of my concerns with switching is I LOVE to bake and I was concerned that I wouldn't be able to make my yummy treats. So in my quest to find animal free recipes I came across a couple amazing sites.

The Post Punk Kitchen - This is not only a Vegan cooking show, but one of the coolest websites I have found in ages! These girls rock. The site is full of recipes and helpful hints, videos, merchandise (I want a tee) and is just plain fun!

I want this woman to start making my lunches... I'm serious. This kid not only has the coolest lunch box, but the worlds best lunches. I bet his class mates gather around each lunch to see what is inside the blue box!

So yesterday. (Sunday).. I wasn't inspired to write, instead spent a good chunk of time searching vegan stuff... and cooking...

and

now that i am making all my food from scratch...

made a soup in my slow cooker

baked...

~vegan banana bread
~vegan chocolate nut muffins

Everything was yummy.. what is that old saying, if it tastes good, it can't be good for you... that's a load of crap!

Today at lunch am going to see if I can get my hands on Vegan with a Vengence as well as a couple other Vegan cookbooks!!! Am also on the look out for the cookbook by Toronto's own Wanda's Pie In the Sky...

Revelations

Sometimes I need a swift kick in the ass. This week I got a few... here is a bit of a list, a more detailed one will be in an upcoming issue of Shebytches.com.

~Clarity has been given to me about someone's reactions towards me. Thank you V for clearing that up
~A palm reader gave me the kick in the ass I needed. It's funny how strangers do that for me.
~I am no longer hiding who I am to those I work with. I am a writer and I run an amazing website, who cares if they know. What the hell was my problem all this time! I have no problems telling strangers.. so why not a bunch of accountants...
~I finally met Liana K and she is as cool as I thought she would be and Sean Ward is much taller than I remember and yes he DOES rock the Casba!. Fyi he will be the next interview for our podcast!
~Shaun Downey is quite possibly the one of this cities most talented painters!
~I own an uber cool phone but the MP3 function is useless to me unless I buy a card for it. Ok, I can download songs from the web but have to pay for them. I want to download the stuff on my Mac
~Beware of girls with monkeys!!! October, you know who you are!
~Being a vegetarian or a vegan does not make you a freak, it just means I am going to live longer than your neurotic carnivores!
~I'm no longer invisible.... it was fun while it lasted.
~I am a Dark Knight and I belong to a Secret Society. How cool am I???

bleech and stuff...

Well, that was by far the WORST long weekend ever.. the weather was beyond disgusting!!! I like gloomy, but only if there is a thunderstorm attached to it... all this weather do was make me even more depressed!

At least I was able to get the new issue up in record time... it's up and sara l. beck is our guest bytch! yes you need to check it out!!!

c

the pink baby was laid to rest

I had to cave an buy a new phone today... my other.. is toast.. well the battery is... I have to charge it daily and if I talk longer than 20 minutes, the battery is finito... so... I had to go to my service provider and pick out a new one. I decided it was also time to stop buying little girl phones, so no more pink ones... This one is sleek, black and silver and has all the bells and whistles... camera, video and MP3 player. Of course the bastards get you every chance they can and I can't use the MP3 player unless I buy a special card... which I am not going to do.. what's the point.. one day, I will some day own an iPod... I will, really, it's not just in my dreams... ok back to reality. Check out this sexy mama. Of course in light of the fact that I have a cool new phone I decided to change my voicemail and make it less boring and serious...

After going to get to the phone, I confirmed I still hate the mall... thank the gods I didn't go on a Saturday!!!!!

it's Monday August 28th... so there must be a new issue at Shebytches.com

and there is... yes.. go to shebytches.com for all the goodness....

c

Ami McKay is this weeks Guest Bytch!

That's right people! The new issue is up, go check it out! Our guest bytch this week is hot Canadian author Ami McKay (The Birth House)

go now!

www.shebytches.com!

First Official Podcast!!!

Hey all, our first podcast is now ready for your ears. You can listen to it here http://shebytchespodcasts.blogspot.com/ or on the right hand side is a couple of links. You can download it to iTunes and you can also subscribe to our mailing list so you can be updated when new ones come out!

The first podcast is part of the Shebytches Indie Reviews and an interview with Girls MissGuided. The interview was done live at a restaurant so there will be background noise, we apologize up front for that!

Enjoy!!!

Liana K is our guest bytch!

NEW THIS WEEK

Guest Bytch Superman by Liana K Superman is one of my favorite comic book characters. That seems passé to many people, and this is the topic of my guest bytch.


"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye." Miss Piggy.

Anna's Bytch Neighbors from Hell Once again I come to you slightly confused, oddly entertained and certainly irritated. I have often asked myself what it is that I am projecting that attracts every single crackpot within a fifty mile radius, but so far I have been unsuccessful in pinning it down.

Carolina's Bytch The Invisible Woman The running joke between V and I is that we are invisible. I use to think it was just that, a joke, but these last two weeks have me thinking otherwise. Let’s do a little review shall we:

Pixie Says Underneath the Glitter, I’m Still a Jew Before I was a pixie, before I was a feminist, almost before I was me, I had two identities: female and Jewish. I was born into them and, not having acquired the power of speech, I couldn’t argue my way out of them. For a while.

Viki Ackland Going Backwards I have always been in a state of disbelief over the affairs of the world. Where most people can go through life in their own square world where happiness is defined merely by their content existence, I have found myself feeling troubled and filled with despair for as long as I can recall. So I carry on, write poetry, stay well informed, live in fear.

EVENTS

check www.myspace.com/shebytches for up todate listings.

Shebytches Upcoming Dates

Sept 24 The Word on the Street, Queen's Park

To Blog or Not to Blog

hey All, one of the articles I am writing for the website is, Blog or not to Blog. Basically what it will be is a compilation of well... basically, why do we blog. What I would like to add is peoples reason's why. So, if you are blogger, message me with the reason you blog!

thx Carolina

ps/ this may even be a podcast...

check out the puddle...

the puddle

there is a puddle on the floor
that puddle use to me
what started as a wet forehead, upper lip, back, and neck
soon dripped away

drip
drip
drip
splat

it started out small
meager
unnoticed
then the spot started to grow

as time went on
that spot grew
larger, wetter
the drip turned to a steady stream

no working air conditioner I cursed
blasted the box that wouldn't produce
cold, refreshing
air

like a broken tap
the running sweat continued
to form a large puddle
at my feet

drip
drip
drip
till there is no more

there is a puddle on the floor
that puddle use to me
my panting dogs, thirsty
have lapped me up

``
I just couldn't help myself. All day I dreaded leaving my semi-air conditioned office building. All day I dreaded coming home to a 90 year old house that is also a working oven. Since Friday I have had a mild migraine, for three days I haven't been able to sleep. Since this heat wave started I have been cursing the fact that the house I bought, the house with the added bonus of central air is so stifling hot. I cursed that the metal box couldn't be turned on due to the fear that it would burn out it's motor and ruin my furnace.

I'm stubborn, ask anyone who knows me, cranky and sweaty and nauseous I decided to give the AC a try. I turned it on and it made the same wretched noise it did the one and only time I turned it on last year. It vibrated, screeched and shut itself off.... I cursed... turned it off and went about my business... the business of sweating that is. Then I said 'Fuck it! Let me play with the breakers and try it again. Guess what... it worked and now it is purring like a kitten!!! and the house is slowly cooling down. I have all the fans on in the bedrooms in hopes of cooling them down enough that I can turn the AC off when we go to bed.

Tomorrow is another day!

c

The Legend of Zanta

I am currently sitting in my basement attempting to write. It's suppose to be cool down here, but it isn't... cooler yes, but incredibly muggy, even with the lights all off. It's been like this for most of the week. Everything is sticking to me, I am on the fence of a migraine... about to fall off that fence. I could use a drink right now, but save getting dehydrated, I have decided to stick to my tepid water. The last time I had any type of alcoholic beverage was this past Wednesday evening. An evening spent with both brand new and comfortable old friends.

After an hour waiting for a table on the rooftop patio of Hemingways, M decided enough was enough and made her way to the front patio scoring us a table. We were a bit disappointed that we wouldn't be sitting on the rooftop, but fun conversation, wine and a character named Zanta Claus soon turned out disappointment to sheer entertainment! Do you know who Zanta is?

The first time I saw Zanta Claus was the 2005 St. Patrick Day parade at Yonge/Bloor. Zanta was following the procession. He was shirtless and only wearing a pair of shorts, boots and a Santa hat. At first I thought he was part of the parade, but quickly realized he may be otherwise when he would continually stop, do push ups and pose, not to mention the windchill was minus twenty something. Listening to other people's conversations I quickly learned that he was a regular spectacle at all these events.

Suddenly I was seeing Zanta everywhere I went. City Hall, Queen Street, Danforth, Annex and even the subway. He always had the same attire of shorts, boots and the Santa hat. One of my girls even pointed out that he appeared to have no chest hair, was clean shaven and was quite buff. Why would he be otherwise seeing as he most likely does hundreds of push-ups a day. Wednesday night we had front row seats to push up's on a taxi cab, photo's with tourist and multiple acts of fitness. Zanta also took the time to flirt with any cute 20 year old girl that would give him the time of day.

There are many stories revolving around the legend of Zanta. Some say he was a construction working falling from a few floors up, causing brain damage, hence is outrageous personality. I wonder if we could use the same reasoning for Liberace, Rosanne Barr or Jerry Springer. Others say he may be bi-polar and not taking his medication, while another story suggests he started the whole Zanta character up to entertain his daughter during a custody trial. Only Zanta knows the real story.

After an hour of entertainment, I realized that this guy is famous. I must be doing something wrong, not to mention he has his own myspace and website!

If you are intrigued and would like to find out more, check out some of these links:

torontozanta.ca
http://molarradio.ca/?p=43
http://ohpunk.blogspot.com/2006/07/zanta-claus-is-coming-to-town.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zanta

Canadian Podcasters

Now that we are adding podcasting to our website I have become very curious as to what else is out there. I am facinated by the things you can do with a podcast. You can create a radio show, a spoken word event, read poetry, teach a class, tell people how to knit or just do something wacky. There are podcasts for absolutely everything. You want to hear about it, there is a podcast for it, every topic known to man has been covered and of course where there are podcasts, there are directories listing them.

I was curious to see how many Canadian podcasts might be out there and trust me I wasn’t disappointed. One of the best directories is a directory created by the Rogic Podcast Conglomerate. Of the sites listed in there directory Librivox really jumped out at me. This website has many free audio books. There is a nice selection of classics and poetry. I was excited to see The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde, by Robert Louis Stevenson. The deeper you dig into this website you will find listings for audiolit projects, literary podcasts and literary blogs. This is a great way to spend a rainy day!

Another outstanding site listed is called Book Ninja. This website is a wealth of information on literary news and opinion. It even has a section with a regular comic. Bravo to the creators and editors for showing the literary side of Canada.

Then there is my favourite on the list. Although not a Canadian site, how can you go wrong with a name like Book Slut. This site consists of interviews and reviews.

Ok, now back to Canadian podcasts. The Closet Geek Show. Don’t let the name fool you. This is an amazing music podcast hosted by Brent Morris. This is just one of thousands of music podcasts out there. There are also just as many weird, quirky and in your face ones such as The Psychotic Hour, The Screaming Halibut and let’s not forget Rabble.ca.

We can’t forget our news and television podcasts. CBC has one and of course almost every newspaper does as well.

Now before you go nuts and start downloading podcasts like crazy. I do have a word of warning. They aren’t all as amazing as the ones I have mentioned. I came a cross a few that were beyond awful. So bad that after a few minutes of listening I unsubscribed and for me to do that, they had to be pretty bad.

Happy Podcasting!

Shebytches Podcasts

Hi All, Shebytches.com is now podcasting!

check it out!

shebytches podcasts

rubber duckies

Recently, someone asked me what I collected. I said 'books'. Of course this wasn't what they meant... what they meant was, as a hobby. Collecting books apparently didn't fall into that category for them. I started to ponder the question, as a child it was tea cups or so I thought, I then I realized it was actually my Grandmother who was collecting them and then passing them off to me. Eventually I started collecting odd and unusual dolls. I still do, but apparently many girls collect them... so I decided I needed to collect something else. I have decided on odd and unusual rubber duckies... the odder the better. I have already started with a devil duckie and am looking for the next unusual one. Who knows this may even spark a zine or picture book of carolina's odd rubber duckies!

Canadian Women Authors to keep an eye on or continue to LOVE!

Ami Mckay - I haven't read her book yet (The Birth House), it hasn't been released but am eagerly anticipating it. I did how ever find her website and this woman is one of the most interesting women I have seen in quite some time. Check out her website http://www.amimckay.com/ or http://www.amimckay.blogspot.com/ and buy her book when it comes out in September.

Krista Bridge - A Toronto girl with a knack for short stories! Recently we were able to here her read from her first book 'The Virgin Spy' This is a great cottage read or for those who prefer short stories for novels. The stories are just long enough to give you time to sit back and relax! http://www.mcdermidagency.com/bridge.htm

Ann Marie Macdonald - I can't remember the last time it was so hard for me to put a book down. Fall on your Knees was just that book... Foolishly I lent it to a friend who then lent it out... so I no longer have my copy... I keep promising myself to buy another. Ann Marie also has two other books. The Way the Crow Flies and Goodnight Desdemona (Good Morning Juliet) (Play). We eagerly await your next novle Ann Marie. Here is a link to her bio http://www.randomhouse.ca/catalog/author.pperl?authorid=54001

Marian Keyes - 'Gracious, humble and and real.' This is how two fellow writers described Marian Keyes when they attended a book signing. A role model to everyone! Go buy Anybody Out There? right now! Here is the official website http://www.mariankeyes.com/

Margaret Atwood - My ultimate hero. Ms. Atwood has put Canadian Women authors on the map! We all should show our appreciation to her in one way or another!!! http://www.owtoad.com/

are you ready for the heatwave

I'll admit it... I am uncomfortable right now... I'm hot, sweaty and trying to not get cranky... I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't complain about the heat... and I'm not... we only go through this for a few weeks each year.. unlike the several months of snow we have to endure... so... no complaining...

The one thing I do notice about the heat is it brings out the crazies! They are everywhere.. at the grocery store yesterday... on the street today... on my street as a matter of fact... I even get a bit crazy when I am overheated... irritable.. and little things like someone putting down once of my favourite neighbourhoods has set me off and once again, another person I know said they wouldn't go into Parkdale on their own... I asked them why not... they said they would be too scared too... and then they proceeded to ask me... if I would... I said yes, being afraid of Parkdale is ridiculous, it is one of my favourite parts of the city... it is diverse, has it's funky little stores and quirky restuarants and is right beside my absolute fav neighbourhood ever... Roncesvalles.... what baffles me here is both the people who made these comments to me live in sketchy neighbourhoods themselves... yes Parkdale had a few rough years way back... but I don't get what the problem is... Parkdale is known as a hub for some of the most facsciating writers, photobloggers and artists that this city has!!! It is also a part of the city that inspires me in many ways...

Like I said... the heat brings out the crazies.

here are some links to more information about Parkdale and Roncesvalles!

http://www.g1313.org/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parkdale—High_Park
http://www.flickr.com/photos/explosivelaughter/page9/
http://deepsky.com/~madmagic/Writing/intro.html
http://www.livewithculture.ca/content/view/full/9999/
http://www.jerryapp.com/arcv_t3.html

Indie Reviews @ Shebytches.com is ready to go!

hey world! we are finally ready to start accepting materials for our Indie Reviews. you can see what you need to do here... http://www.shebytches.com/indiereviews.html. if you require more information please contact me :)

carolina

fav new blog!

If you live in toronto you need to check this out!!!

http://www.unknowntoronto.blogspot.com/

uh oh

that's right... it's been insane... so insane I haven't even blogged... work was crazy since I was leaving for vacation... two weeks...

I don't remember the last time I had two weeks off...

yesterday I checked out the yonge street festival.... boring... and the outdoor art exhibit. I recommend the outdoor art exhibit... tonnes of uber cool stuff and while you are there check out my girls Shannon Gerard and Lisa Cruji.

cs