A day off from the world...

Today I took a day off from the world... I had a hellish day yesterday...

It started when I got off the bus at Bathurst/Bloor and was once again the victim to the verbal barrage of a homeless man... I wouldn't give him money and as I walked away he started to call me names I haven't heard in a while. Me with my temper lashed back at him. Once again no one standing around did anything... rather stared at the situation as if it was entertainment. Playing in traffic would have been a better risk....

Not sure if there was something in the air...

Work wasn't any better.. people snapping at me for no reason... I'd had enough by lunch time. But being the stubborn one... stuck around till the end of the day.

Mid afternoon the oddities of my day continued. I received an email from someone I haven't heard from in over a year and a half... out of the blue... hey how are you?

Then the nightmares started last night. One of them I vividly remember.... a la Night of the Living Dead. Everyone I know is trapped in a farmhouse... as we are about to be attacked with zombies. I am sitting in corner observing what is going on. The chaos, confusion, tears, fighting. No one is organized and everyone wants to be the boss. Finally I've had enough and stand up and start pushing people over and barking out orders.

YOU find bottles, kerosene and rags
YOU go find weapons and amo
YOU start boarding up the doors and window
YOU do this... YOU do that...

Everyone is standing and staring at me. Then at the top of my lungs I yell NOW!!! Everyone starts to move, doing everything I say. Then a car pulls up as darkness approaches... they are being chased by zombies. No one wants to let them in. I can't let helpless people be killed so I rush out and help them get into the house and to safety... then I wake up.

I have nightmares like this once in a while. They are meant as messages. This one is screaming I need to take back control of my life, start being brave again. Or as Anna put it last night... need to start growing back my mane... somewhere along the line... it got singed...